Afterwards

Friday, December 14th, 2012 12:40 am
unstablekitten: (lips)
[personal profile] unstablekitten
Title: Afterwards
Characters: Muck (an OC), Chloe (an OC)
Summary: The morning after a Halloween party Chloe finds herself in bed with someone she never thought she'd end up sleeping with. Now what? Will this ruin their friendship or somehow make it stronger still?
Notes: Muck is 18 and Chloe is 16. This takes place a couple of weeks after the story After the Accident.
Rating: PG

Chloe bolted upright in the king sized bed, breathing hard. Her green eyes were wide. There was uncertainty mixed with fear showing in them as she waited for the fog to clear her head. It was a dream or maybe a nightmare. It couldn't be real. She hadn't. Had she? No, she couldn't have. Not with him, not last night, not like this. And yet she couldn't shake the feeling gnawing at the back of her mind.

It wasn't until she looked down that Chloe realized she was naked. Her chest was bare and exposed. The only thing that covered her was the pale blue sheet that fell just below her waist. Heavy deep blue drapes were almost completely closed; the small opening in them permitted enough light in for the sixteen year old to see her surroundings. She was in GingerSnap's mansion, in one of the bedrooms. That much was obvious. There had been a party last night, a Halloween party. She'd had three or four drinks, followed by a couple rounds of shots. That was it, right? Chloe couldn't recall off hand if that was it or not. How much had she had? The teenager wasn't certain. Then again she wasn't entirely sure as to what all she had done the previous night.

Slowly she turned her head to look at the other half of the bed. There sleeping soundly beside her was Muck, his chest bare. Chloe watched for a moment as his chest rose and fell with each breath he took. He looked so peaceful sleeping there. There was a hint of a smile on his face, light gold and dark yellow hair was tousled and sticking up in places giving him an almost comical look rather than angelic. The scars on his chest and left arm were still prominent and they would likely remain so. The younger teen resisted the urge to reach out and trace the scars with her fingertips. All the pain he had endured for no reason and even now she knew he still hurt. Maybe not physically, the mental and emotional scars ran deep though and Jade had added to them only a couple of months before school started up again. How deep did those scars run? She knew that was why he drank. It was a poor attempt to forget. Not that she could fault him for it she had done the same herself. Come morning though it would be worn off and only a headache, if that, would remain. A poor substitute for what truly ailed one.

Chloe trembled as snippets of images flooded her mind. It wasn't a dream. This was real. She had slept with Muck. The Monroe style dress and heels she had worn were strewn on the floor, mixed with the gangster style pinstripe suit he had worn the previous night. There had been giggling as she had helped undo the buttons of his shirt and he had hungrily nipped at her neck as hands gently caressed her bare body. What came next was a blur of images and emotions connected with them. She recalled more than she wanted to of the night's events and yet she didn't remember as much as she wished she had. This wasn't how she had wanted her first time to be. This wasn't how she had pictured it. And he certainly wasn't the one she had thought or hoped it would be with. What now? She'd have to tell him. Wouldn't she? Then again he already knew. Didn't he?

A panic set in as Chloe went back over the previous night's events. Those shots of bourbon were the likely culprit. She hadn't done those before. Why had she picked last night of all nights to surpass her three drink limit? Stupid. So completely stupid. She knew better than to exceed the limit she had imposed upon herself. It was enough to feel free without being tipsy or losing control. Here she hadn't just crossed that limit she had run it over as she raced past it. Drinking too much at home was one thing. At least there she didn't have to worry about getting back safely or what would happen if her inhabitation was low. It was safe at home. At parties or in others' houses she had been so careful for so long. Now this. What had she been thinking last night? Maybe nothing. It certainly felt like it given what she had done.

How many had seen the two go upstairs together? Granted no one elsewhere in the mansion would be surprised. She knew that without a doubt. They all believed the rumors. Maybe not every rumor, but it was hard to ignore them all. She was the school tramp. Or at least that's what everyone said. They would think nothing of it when she left the room. Nor would they bat an eye later on when Muck did. Some would talk. That was inevitable. This time though the talk would be real. Chloe wasn't sure she could handle that. The lies that were spread didn't bother her. How could they? They were only the fabrications of some poor soul who had nothing better to do. But to have something circling around school that was true? The teen felt like crying. Wrapping her arms around her legs Chloe pulled her knees up to her chest. Letting her head drop on top of her arms she didn't know what to do. She was lost and alone. She was always alone. This time though it engulfed her and she wondered if there would ever be something to ease the ache she felt continuously. Or even if there would ever be someone.

Chloe was lost so deeply in her thoughts that she didn't notice the sleeping figure lying next to her stirring. Nor did she hear when the mattress creaked slightly when he sat up. Brown eyes stared at nothing, for he could see nothing. Though Muck could see nothing in the room he sensed a warm body near him. He could smell her. The scent of her body mingled with perfume and sweat. He moved closer towards her a hand outstretched. Fingers sought her out as he breathed deeply, inhaling her. The tips of his fingers moved quickly as he searched out her face. The pillow was empty. The warmth of her body was still there though; she hadn't left the bed. Raising his arm up he was surprised to find her head bent down. As his hand ran over her silky hair that fell just past her shoulder blades her head bolted upright, startled.

"It's all right." Muck reassured her, letting his hand run slowly down her back until it came to rest just above her waist.

Green eyes looked at him almost in disbelief. All right? How was that even possible? Nothing would be all right. She'd slept with him. A friend. One of the few true friends she had. Which wasn't a surprise given the rumor mill had made short work of most of them, as no one wanted to be caught in the crossfire of rumors concerning the teen. And here he was one of the last and she'd just managed to screw their friendship up all on her own. Brilliant. Everything would change. Everything had changed. How could it ever be all right after this? What would he say? What would he do?

Muck moved his face closer to hers, she smelled familiar. That perfume it was a mix of cinnamon and cloves, warm and spicy. He knew that perfume. Only one person he knew wore it. The surprise showed on his face as he let his other hand brush against her face. She didn't pull away and neither did she press her face into his hand. Instead she simply let him rest his hand on her cheek for a moment. She was Jace's younger sister. How had he managed to miss who she was last night? Muck swallowed hard as his heart pounded.

His voice was soft, a hint of concern in it as he whispered, "Chloe?"

Chloe said nothing. She didn't know what to say. She should say something. She knew that. But what?

Forcing her mouth to open she simply said, "Morning."

Muck sat silently a look of contemplation on his face. Was she ok? Had he hurt her last night? She seemed so unlike herself that it worried him. Had he forced her? Had she been drunk and he'd taken advantage of her? How could his mind be so hazy about the details of the previous night? Inwardly he called himself an idiot. He had been trying to drink away the pain of Jade leaving him. Why did it still hurt so over five months later? Alcohol certainly didn't help. It never did though and he knew that. Still it didn't stop him from trying to drown out the pain with whatever liquor he could get his hands on. And now there was this. What the devil had he done last night? Was Chloe all right? Muck silently cursed himself numerous times over for being so stupid. Granted he didn't have sight to help him, but there was still smells, sounds, tastes, touches. What was it that he wasn't remembering? What had his mind tucked away from him? Had he truly hurt her?

Letting go of her knees Chloe let her legs drop to the bed, "I suppose we should get up."

It was a stupid comment and she instantly wished she hadn't said it. Of course they had to get up. Why put it off? She couldn't forever anyway much as she might have wanted to. What was the point? Everyone likely already knew. Which of the gossip brigade had gotten this juicy tidbit circulating last night? Probably Bambi, it was always Bambi. Why the cheerleading co-captain hated her so she didn't know. Then again it seemed like the seventeen year old hated everyone. So why not Chloe too?

"Are you all right?" Muck questioned sensing something in her voice that suggested otherwise.

Forgetting that Muck could often tell the difference in someone's voice the younger teen replied, "I'm fine."

"Did I hurt you?", the eighteen year old asked fearing the answer.

Chloe was surprised by the question. Hurt her? No. He'd been very gentle. She couldn't recall him doing anything that had caused her any real pain.

Letting a hand rest on his for a moment in an attempt to reassure him Chloe replied, "No. Why would you think that?"

Though Muck was grateful that he hadn't that still didn't put his mind at ease. What had he done to her? Had he done anything? She seemed so quiet, so reserved, so very unlike her normal bubbly self. What had he done last night?

"You seem different."

"I'm still me."

"Did I ..." Muck considered carefully for a moment the best way to phrase the question he wanted to ask, finding none he asked it straight out, "Did I force you?"

"No." Chloe answered, realizing that she had wanted to and had been willing, "You didn't, Muck. I wanted to sleep with you."

"Chloe ... I, I don't want to lose you as a friend." Muck stated somewhat afraid that there was still something she hadn't told him that was going to cause him to lose one of the only friends he had left.

"You won't." Chloe stated trying to convince not only Muck but herself as well.

Could they remain friends though? Was that possible? Would this happen again? What if it did? What if every time the two of them were alone Muck wanted to have sex? Or what if she did?

"So what aren't you telling me then?"

"There isn't anything to tell you. I slept with you. We had fun. That's over and we still have to face the music as you know the school's waiting for this to finish playing out."

"Are you worried about any rumors concerning last night?"

Chloe snorted, "Come on. Me? The girl with a thousand rumors around school? Why should this one bother me?"

"Because it's true.", Muck answered knowing better than the girl realized that the other rumors weren't.

With a dismissive wave of her hand, she knew he couldn't see, she tried to sound more nonchalant then she felt as she replied, "It isn't a big deal."

"It is though and you aren't telling me why." His face serious Muck asked, "Why is it a big deal?"

How did one tell someone they were their first? Did one even tell them that? Why would he believe her? He had no reason to. No one else would have and maybe that's what hurt her most. No one else would have believed her if she'd admitted they had been her first. Biting her bottom lip the war within raged on as she battled if she should or shouldn't tell him.

A hand reached out and gently rubbed her arm as he softly said, "Chloe?"

Exhaling a little louder than wanted she blurted out, "You were my first."

Taken by surprise the older teenager could only get out half questions in response to her reply, "Last night? I was? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because no one would have believed me."

"I would have." Muck replied his voice soft, "I do believe you. Don't you know I always have?"

Not stopping to think about where they were or that neither of them was wearing clothes Muck wrapped an arm around Chloe's waist and pulled her closer to him, pulling her atop his lap. The warmth of her skin pressed against his as arms engulfed her, pressing her closer as he hugged her. The older teenager could feel the rise and fall of her chest; her heart pounding. It was fast, much faster than he had expected it to be. It reminded him of a rabbit's heart when it knew that death was coming and there was no way to escape yet it tried until it could no longer move, its heart racing, eyes frantic.

"Chloe?" Muck was unable to hide the concern in his voice.

The younger teenager said nothing as she attempted to unwind herself from his arms. Muck wouldn't let her though. The older boy kept his arms firmly around her middle; holding her but not hurting her. A fixed look on his face, brown eyes searching even though he couldn't see the terror in her green eyes. Chloe struggled for a another minute, until finally admitting defeat. Letting her head fall on his shoulder she cried. Her body shook as the tears she had held back for the past few years came out in great shaking sobs. Muck said nothing as he smoothed her fiery red hair back. He let her cry. Something he had never seen her do in all the years he had known her. As the sobs began to subside he placed a kiss on top of her head.

"It's all right." Muck murmured softly, "I'm here. I've got you, cupcake."

Got me? Chloe let the words sink in. He was here and he did have her. Truth be told he always had her. Even when they were kids he was one of the few who looked out for her and cared about what happened to her or what she was dealing with. A wave of security washed over her. It was like a warm blanket wrapping around someone who was standing outside in the snow without a coat. For the first time in her life she felt safe. Truly safe. Why hadn't she realized that all those years ago? Maybe Muck hadn't been the one she had wanted her first time to be with, but maybe just maybe he was exactly what she needed. No. He was what she needed. Every doubt and fear in her head left her as Muck tilted her face upwards. With a thumb he wiped the tears from her eyes. Slowly she moved her face closer to his. As their breath mingled together, each seeming to breathe in the other Chloe pressed her lips to Muck's. Maybe this was the beginning of something good in her life. And who knew maybe just maybe things would start to turn around for her.
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